Some conversation don’ts are self-evident. However, the more subtle ones can get you in trouble, so keep these secrets in mind…
I once went on my first date who broke the ice by telling me she’d been married three times, had been hurt and used by everyone, and was still living with her ex! There was more, something about a scheme to ensure he gets the entire matrimonial property, but I wasn’t paying attention at that point. “Why are you telling me this?” was all I could think.
Dating ‘don’ts’ are things you should never do or say on a date. When the other person exhibits these ‘don’ts’, the sappy love soundtrack in your head goes and the line on your heart monitor goes flat!
Most of us are aware of what not to say on a first date. Words like up your ex-lover! I remember going on a date once, and while we were driving to the restaurant, she turned on music and sang along with it while crying. I realized after about 2 minutes that the songs were all romantic ballads with lyrics about a woman crying out for his lost love!! I suggested we go for a quick drink instead, and I gulped down two gin and tonics before making the quickest exit I’d ever made.
So the moral of the story is that we don’t want to hear about what went wrong in your past relationships (at least not on the first date), how your ex was the sexiest, most devoted or loving woman ever, what her favorite drink was or how she was always punctual for a date!
If it’s a blind date,
DON’T compare yourself to anyone famous
Now we all know this never works the way we’d like it to. Sure, most of us have someone famous we’re compared to. With me, it’s usually I man meets ‘Jackie Brown’. I can live with that. But personality-wise, apparently . My point? Most people look like a more slightly distorted version of these famous stars. I have never met anyone who really looked like the fabulous celebrity they said they looked like. So proceed with caution. Unless, of course, you are drop dead gorgeous, then you can say the famous ones look like you…
DON’T check out other people!
Ah, nothing is more of a turn-off than to be out on a date with someone and notice him checking out the girl with the cleavage right in front of your face or notice her checking that man with the most gorgeous, tightest butt you’ve ever seen! It might not happen often, and it’s usually another sign of insecurity, but if it does, I usually try to have a comment handy, maybe something like “you know, if you hurry, you can get that girl to hold the bucket of drool that’s accumulating as we speak. Go ahead, I’ll wait…”
Please please don’t ever check someone else out when you’re on date as it really is an instant turn off, unless of course, you want to do just that!
DON’T ask them what they think of you
For gosh sakes! Have some confidence! Read the signals. You will know if they are repulsed by you or attracted to you. I once had a date with a woman that I had been communicating with over the phone for some time. I really liked the person she was over the phone. About 5 minutes into our first face-to-face date, she asked me if I was disappointed. At the time, I turned to her, put my hand behind her head, pulled her close enough to kiss and purred in his ear “Don’t ask me that again!”. Had she had any clue or any confidence she would have read that very clear sign and had a chance at a second date. However, during the rest of the evening, she asked me that same question about a half dozen more times. This extreme lack of confidence made her much less attractive to me. So she stayed in the friends category. So men and women, don’t forget, one of the most attractive qualities is confidence without arrogance.
You know, as I get older, I become more moralistic. Yeah, I know it’s a sign of old age (but only a little!) But I’ve made a few mistakes, and this one is one I’ll have to live with. The problem is that I believe this rule bothers men far more than women. Guys, if we like you a lot and see promise in you, we’re going to want to sleep with you at some point. This does not imply that we have had sexual relations with the entire football team! I don’t question men’s apprehension about sleeping with a potential Ms. right on the first date; that’s just the way it is. It’s always better to relish the anticipation!