Former U.S. First Lady, Michelle Obama, has addressed the rumors swirling around her marriage to Barack Obama, following her noticeable absence from several public appearances earlier in the year.
Appearing on Work in Progress, a podcast hosted by actress Sophia Bush, Michelle confronted the divorce speculation head-on, pushing back against the assumptions made about her private decisions. She also used the moment to shed light on the pressure women often face for simply choosing themselves.
According to The Independent UK, chatter about the couple’s relationship status intensified when Barack Obama attended the funeral of former President Jimmy Carter in January without Michelle. Her subsequent announcement that she would not be present at Donald Trump’s second inauguration added fuel to the fire.
Speaking during the podcast, Michelle Obama addressed the false narrative:
“The interesting thing is that, when I say ‘no,’ for the most part people are like, ‘I get it, and I’m OK’,” she said. “That’s the thing that we as women, I think we struggle with – disappointing people.”
She went on to reflect on how women’s autonomy is often misread or criticized by society; “This couldn’t be a grown woman just making a set of decisions for herself, right? But that’s what society does to us. We start actually, finally going, ‘What am I doing? Who am I doing this for?’ And if it doesn’t fit into the sort of stereotype of what people think we should do, then it gets labelled as something negative and horrible.”
Not long before Michelle’s comments aired, Barack Obama opened up about the challenges in their marriage during an event at Hamilton College on April 3. Reflecting on his time in office and the toll it took at home, he shared:
“I was in a deep deficit with my wife. I’ve been trying to dig myself out of that hole by doing occasionally fun things.”
Married for over three decades, the Obamas have often been candid about the ups and downs in their partnership. In a previous interview with Revolt TV, Michelle admitted:
“There are times I’m 70, he’s 30. There are times he’s 60, I’m 40.”
She also revealed that there were “10 years” where she “couldn’t stand Barack.”
Nonetheless, she stressed the importance of long-term perspective in relationships, adding:
“I would take 10 bad years over 30. It’s just how you look at it.”
According to Michelle, much of the tension came during Barack’s early political career when she carried the primary responsibility of raising their children, “That’s when all the measuring starts,” she said. “Couples often turn that ire on each other.”
Insiders have long rejected the idea that the Obamas present themselves as a perfect couple. A source previously told Page Six:
“They don’t pretend that they have this Camelot relationship. They’re not trying to present that they’re this magical couple.”
Michelle and Barack Obama tied the knot in 1992 at Chicago’s Trinity United Church of Christ. Their paths first crossed at the law firm Sidley & Austin, where Michelle was assigned as Barack’s mentor. After a few years of dating, they married and later became one of the most prominent couples in American politics. They share two daughters, Malia and Sasha.
Speaking on NPR’s Life Kit podcast, Michelle offered heartfelt advice for young people considering marriage.
“You have to be prepared for long periods of discomfort,” she cautioned. “And when I say long, I mean it can last for years.”
She also called for more honest discussions around relationships, saying:
“I’m fascinated by how little we talk to young people about what it actually means to partner with someone and what those compromises really look like.”
Addressing the commonly held belief that relationships are always balanced, she said; “Marriage is never 50/50. I wonder how that idea ever took hold.”
